How Do You Spell Success

by Mary Ellen Stepanich, Ph.D.

(This was the winning entry in the Essay Contest sponsored by the Living Magazine at Westbrook Village, May 2022)

At my age, I don’t expect to get smiles – or even friendly greetings – from handsome young men who cross my path. But a very unusual event happened the other day, and I’ve spent some time trying to understand the significance of the exchange.

I was standing at the gas pump at Sam’s Club, waiting for my big old Buick to lap up enough fuel to last for the week. At the lane next to me, a gleaming, obviously new, black car pulled in, sporting special license plates naming a local football team. A good-looking, dark-haired, 30-something businessman stepped up to the gas pump. He was dressed in a crisp blue dress shirt and black slacks with a crease so sharp it could slice bread.

With a slight smile on my face, I was enjoying some secret thoughts about the man, when suddenly he looked at me, nodded and grinned. “Hello! How are you?”

Somewhat surprised, it took me a few seconds to respond. “Fine, thank you. I was just thinking. There is nothing that defines a man’s success like a crisp blue dress shirt, vanity plates, and a Cadillac.”

He chuckled, and I quickly interjected. “But that’s not a Cadillac, is it?”

“No, it’s a Chrysler”

“Same thing. It still spells success.”

The young man gave me a big smile as my side of the pump clicked off, and I prepared to get into my car. As I opened the door to my six-year-old Buick, the gorgeous young thing waved and called out a friendly, “Bye now.”

If I were younger and cuter, I would have thought the guy was flirting with me. But being homely and so old even menopause is a distant memory, I knew that wasn’t the explanation. What was it, then, that could cause two totally unconnected people, either by age or inclination, to enjoy an instant of total rapport?

I’m sure my behaviorist colleagues would have an explanation, but I like to think in simpler terms, or what I call my “naive theories.” I believe that my positive thoughts about the young man opened a passageway between us that provided a momentary connection. We both recognized the other person as someone who shared similar life notions. In Law of Attraction terms, it was “like attracts like.” As the book, Everything Law of Attraction, explains: “If you are a happy, upbeat person with a smile for everyone, you can expect to find friends and good experiences wherever you go.”

Maybe if I give a friendly smile to the mechanics at Liberty Buick, they’ll fix my car’s broken CD player at no charge. Now, THAT would spell success.